Small things are all I ask for.

Life has offered me many things... some asked and others unasked. but it's so oddly frustrating when just that one thing I so desparately want never comes to me. Just one smile to light up my day, just one word to show that I belong somewhere, just a hug to make me feel appreciated... it's only a small thing I ask for which almost always goes unnoticed.

The other day I heard a Joyce Meyer sermon, pushing me to demand big things from God. BIG things because He's able to do much more than I can ever ask or imagine. Undoubtedly I believe He's able to do much more than the highest fancy of my imagination. But how can I hope for big things when the smallest of my prayers seem to go unanswered? I must say it's much easier to be a passive pessimist than a growing christian. Or is something fundamentally wrong with my understanding? Should christians be passive pesimists who give up all their dreams and aspirations at the first step of failure believing that the whole program is not under the will of the Almighty? I'm not making any sense, not even to myself.

Tiny disappointments can so easily put me off. Like knife running through warm butter, glitches ruin the knowledge of God's love for me. No... A small disappointment should not, cannot overshadow the many miracles He's worked in my life. Forgive me Dear Jesus.

Even though the fig tree does not blossom and there are no grapes on the vines. Even though the olive crop fails and the fields lie empty and barren. Even though the floks die in the fields and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in the Lord of my salvation. The Soverign Lord is my strength, He makes me as surefooted as a deer and He will bring me safely over the mountain- Habbakuk 3:17-19
( It took only 10min for me to memorise this verse but it might take a life time to internalise it)