fuoss...

Something fuoss* happened to me last evening. The very thought of it makes my blood run cold.


It was past 8 in the night, when i decided to rush to the supermarket(more like a bigger version of a mal provisional store) near my home...

Let me first describe the locality to accurately communicate the intensity of the whole incident. My home's situated very much off the beaten track which gives it an appearance of a graveyard after sundown. Consequently, accounts of robbery, eve teasing(often beyond just teasing), unidentifiable dead bodies lying on the railway track which runs parallel to the main avenue of our layout, etc are as common as common cold! Unfortunately, there are no houses beyond my single storey nondescript building. However, the road continues for another 300 metres through vacant sites till it meets a lake. A seasonal lake visible only during monsoon. These empty sites are safe hangouts for dopers. I've very often seen them crash here with their guitars in bikes and cars.

Turning to last night... Now you know why I mentioned the time!

I boldly walked out into the soft moonlight closing the gate behind me. The road before me was completely bare. Here and there were patches of bright yellow light scattered by street lights.

At a distance I saw a single beam of light from a bike. 'Surely it's Papa' thought I and intently stared at the silhouette riding the bike. As the figure got clearer, I decried a tall well built man in a red T-shirt who was no way close to a father figure. Quite disappointed I looked away and continued to plod ahead certainly unaware that this man would find a place in my blog the next day.

As the bike got nearer, its pace slackened till it came to an abrupt halt beside me. By now, I'd reached mid-road and wondered what this Mr.X had to do with me. Instinctively I looked at him. With half a smile and half hesitation he mumbled something. Something more like a buzz and absolutely incomprehensible. Suddenly I was reminded of similar incidents when men had passed some vulgar comments or ###$$## remarks in the same tone and remarkably same expression. If looks could kill, he'd be charred to death, such was my stare in reply. With that, I quickly continued to walk.

Undoubtedly he looked extremely embarrassed and sped away. What other treatment did he expect in return? Justly, I was raging with anger against all men! Surprisingly, I heard the rumble of his bike getting closer to me.. the dimly lit path slowly got brighter. Was this man trying to assault me? Verbally, or still worse physically! The road was as deserted as ever! I looked around for a suitable weapon. there were lots of loose chunks of rocks around me. Good. If he tries to play the devil with me, I wouldn't let him escape unharmed. At least his bike would bear the scars of my counter attack!

For my relief, another man- quite decent looking, appeared from a crossroad and was walking towards me. 'That should put him on guard' I thought. Surely enough, his pace reduced almost to 10km/hr. I had to discipline myself not to flee in fright, but my inside was badly shaken. Jesus! something was turning in my tummy! What would he do to me? the decent looking man passed by and I could feel my knees tremble.

'Excuse me' came a clear loud voice. It was the man on the bike. I turned back. However, to my embarrassment, he was speaking to the other guy.' Is this lake view residency? I was looking for #308. could you please help me?' As he said that, he stared at me with a haughty gaze. Uh! OK... I'd got it all wrong...

But I've decided never to venture out of my home after 7 without my bike.

*Fuoss is a word coined by me and my friend to describe something between funny and gross.