Saturday, November 7, 2009

Fall

Life's not been the same always
I walk, I fall, rise and fall.
Sometimes disappointed with myself
At other times condoning my sins.
After all, I'm just human...
My failings are many, but I try
Try not to fall...
And I hope someday to rise
Rise above my weaknesses
To walk steadily in obedience.
Still I fall...
Did I not try hard enough?
Was not my faith enough?
How much longer...
Before God gives up on me?
Life's not been the same always
I walk, I fall, rise and fall.
But He loves me still the same.
Now my heart earnestly cries
Dear Lord, everyday let me fall
Fall and never rise
Fall each day with a passion anew
Evermore deeply in love with You...

Saturday, October 31, 2009

November 1st

Another big day in my life.
A day when I take a stand
Declare the truth
And act on my belief.
A big day indeed...

Monday, October 26, 2009

Glorious day!

October 25th... A day that goes down in the history of Jessyland.

Huddled closely around her lovely friends, she stood. She stood right at the back in the last row of the great throng that had assembled to worship the great Iam. The hall resounded with songs of adoration and as she made way for the people still streaming in to occupy some vacant seats in the row, little did she know what was in store.

Eyes tightly shut, hands lifted high, tears sparkling in her lashes. She stood not knowing how her need would be met. She mumbled under her breath - "Lord, that gift I desire is mine to claim. I know in Your own time, when I'm ready for it, You'll give it to me. Now I surrender wholly to You. Body mind and soul... Take me I am Yours."

She loved to sing. Especially in a gathering like this, where voices joined as one floated up to the throne of the Most High. Where many imperfections drowned out in an expression of love. Today, however, was not exactly the same. Her tongue was tired but her heart sang a new song of praise for the One she loved. Her lips were still, but the song bubbled inside of her. It bubbled with growing energy, till it finally broke out...

God in His amazing love granted her desire. At the least expected moment, the gift was hers, though she deserved no such grace. She asked and He gave it to her. Without any questions, any conditions, in an instant He changed her world :)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

He spoke.

I'm so amazed at the love of God that leads me on! Early in the morning during my quiet time a question entered my mind and I asked Jesus, "What about this? I would like it if it should happen sometime in the future... Or is it the right desire at all?" It lingered on in my mind almost making me inattentive during my clinical postings.
I wasn't myself and nothing except the question ran through my mind. Would it be OK or not? Those words just rattled on.
I have waited for answers from God for years. Sometimes He answers sooner but I fail to hear. Now I was anxious to avoid any of those spots. I can't wait and I can't not hear...
Surprisingly, in the evening when our course co-ordinator was dropping us back to the train station, I heard God speak. He spoke through my clinical coordinator. There was no reason why she had to randomly start talking about her life experiences that actually related to my question! She had never before discussed any thing personal with us but now she did!
Divine intervention! For me!
Thank You Lord!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Quaking rocks

I was never there, but he typed,
'How I wish you could come back here.'
I read the line again and again trying hard
Not to reply... At least not to go on conversing
About it... A different turn of subjects.
Studies, assignments and work.
But he got back to it again.
It was not about the fervent words
Not about the sighs and aches,
But a reflection of myself that had faded away.
That I had destroyed and never wanted to see again.
He would not hesitate to speak
He would not rest till memories were revived.
Till I cried...
Till I had another restless night.

Monday, June 22, 2009

My Love

I am not all that life has called me to be,
Not everything I could've acheived
Has earned wings.
I have no riches worth swaggering,
It's not in me that I have found contentment.
I have not trudged too far in the path of FAITH
Not walked too long in TRUST;
I am not unaccustomed to LOVE
Or the fulfillment it brings,
But I had never before to this measure
Rejoiced in His embrace.
Never before to this extent
reveled in His presence...

Friday, June 12, 2009

Memories... taking some and leaving behind some


I'm amazed at how the three weeks in Melbourne flew by. Tomorrow I'll be leaving to Sydney, with my three friends who'll remain with me for another 8 weeks. Today I'm leving behind 12 of my classmates who had somehow created a special place in my heart within a very short period of time.
I'm truly blessed to have met these beautiful people who gave me a family feeling during my stay in a foreign country. We all shared a common factor of being strangers in an unknown land and supported each other through the ups and downs of our theory classes.
Looking back one last time, at the classroom which gave me mostly happy moments to fondle, I walk ahead towards a nameless future. Counting on Jesus who gave me all I have and leads me on.